Why do patrons get so defensive when we catch them viewing pornography and ask them to leave? The Boss stood less than three feet behind such a patron today for a full two minutes before the patron even realized. When he did, he wasn't too happy. "WHAT?! Can I not download music?!" Well, that's illegal and is concerning, but those hardcore videos you were fastforwarding through are the reasons why you won't be coming back here.

Another patron recently came to the circulation desk with this riddle: "I need to watch a video, but I don't know the title of it."

Hummmm...

"Although, I do know that the title is something clever about flowers."

Ohhh! OK then.

- Circ. Ass.

We have several study rooms available in our library for groups to study, or just individuals who need the serenity of their own room with the ability to shut a door. In a number of those rooms, we provide dry erase boards. That means, of course, that we have dry erase markers and erasers available at the circulation desk to use on those boards.

Today, a patron gave me his ID as collateral for a marker. He didn't like the fact that we only had the color red available, but accepted it anyway. He asked, "Is it dry?" Before I could answer, he took the cap off of the marker and drew on the mousepad for the computer on the circulation counter. What are you doing, dude?

- Circ. Ass.