So, a patron approached the circulation desk today and Circ. Ass. was attending to the book drop while he asked her a question.

Patron: "I'm looking for the elevators... I want the third floor."

Circ. Ass. (who didn't hear the important "elevators" part): "Um, the third floor... Yeah, that's on the... third floor..."

Yeah, he knows that already.

- The Boss

Just had the first printer patron with a problem come up to the circulation desk.

Patron: "I just printed something off that was 22 pages, but it only printed the even pages."

The Boss: "Ummm... Turn each page over."

Patron: "Oh... OK, thanks."

- The Boss

Someone asked me for the date today. When I told him it was the Wednesday, the 12th, he said, "yeah, yeah" as if that were obvious and clarified himself: "but what month?"

- Circ. Ass.

People, if you approach the print station and the computer has a screensaver on, all you have to do is move the mouse. The computer doesn't know what you want it to do with your card. It, like us, cannot read minds.

- Circ. Ass.

A patron approaches the circulation desk.

Air Bud: "Can we help you?"

Patron: "Journals!" The patron stares blankly, offering no clarification.

Do library-goers think we're superhuman? Maybe I'm just misinterpreting their requests and they actually have us all on pedestals in their mind, instead of thinking we're circulation servant monkeys who should always know exactly what they want. If that's the case, I apologize, patrons.

- Circ. Ass.

Like any library, we have security gates in place to help prevent book theft. Sometimes the gate mistakenly beeps when someone passes through with a laptop, flash drive, or even just a new textbook that wasn't desensitized. The gate will also false beep when several people walk through it at once.

I don't have a button behind the desk that controls when or if the gate beeps. It is not my fault that you set off the gate. I am not out to get you. It is nothing to be upset over, unless you're stealing something. Strangely, the people who are attempting to steal are usually calm and collected when we ask to look through their materials. They always pull the "I forgot" card, even when they've tried to remove every ownership stamp or sticker on the book.

- Circ. Ass.