The most gentlemanly patron I've ever met was in the library today complaining about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. He was surprised we'd promote "softcore pornography" and remarked that some men would rather actually read about sports in their sports magazine.

Similarly, I've been waiting for that infamous Lindsay Lohan issue of New York to come in so that we can heavily censor it. It's almost like Liberry's idea of filling The Wall Street Journal's crossword in with wrong answers, with a pen.

- Circ. Ass.