Today, a patron tried to check out headphones using a fake ID. With Halle Berry's picture on it.

When we check out books to patrons, we always verbally inform them of the due date (even though it's printed on the bookmark). The other day, I noticed that the due date was May 5th. I told a patron his book was due back on Cinco de Mayo and he issued a bewildered, "HUH?!" I guess that's not really that weird, but this dude had no idea.

- Circ. Ass.